Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Pregnancy

Part II: Are We There Yet??

"Just when you think you can't get any bigger, you do." My sister in law gave me that gem. She was correct, you do get...bigger. And BIGGER. I didn't know it was even possible to OUTGROW maternity wear. That's just ridiculous. I am pretty sure everyone at work got a sneak peak of my stretch marked belly that last month. My walks to the restroom five times a day must have been hilarious, because I was penguin-ing that shit up. Coworkers would make special trips to my office just to clean up.

Randoms: "Hey, did you know your stapler is on the floor."
Me: "Yep. That's where it's going to stay too if you don't pick it up."

I had a collection of "desk essentials" scattered across my office. "Tape?!? I mean, who really uses tape these days?" I constantly convinced myself that I didn't really need that thumb drive sitting next to my feet. I got used to pointing. Sometimes (read: always) I got carried away and made requests for help when I was fully capable of accomplishing it on my own.

"Yeah, pour a little more gravy
on those mashed potatoes.
That's how mama likes it."

After I had the baby I had to re-train myself. I kept forgetting that I was no longer physically impaired and could in fact grab a mixing bowl from the lower kitchen cabinet by myself. I had mixed feelings about that.


When I asked B when he would like to start trying for a second baby (calm down MOM, we were just making conversation) he said HE needed to recover from this pregnancy before he could even think about a second baby. Apparently I was a little demanding. 
Anywhooooo, I noticed that there was this trap that I fell into around my seventh month. Up until the sixth month I worked out religiously. I did MMA style fitness classes about 5-6 days a week. I also taught three classes a week. I was so proud of myself, I overcame the nausea and headaches and at that point I could still lift my leg to do a mean round kick. THEEEEEEN all of a sudden I started getting dizzy. I had low blood pressure and everything made me dizzy. Walking up stairs - yep, got dizzy. My doctor said I should pick up a different kind of exercise, like walking. wtf. Walking?!? Walking is booooooring. Needless to say I had to stop exercising. I concluded that Hammie was being totally selfish and taking all my awesome juice.  So instead of heading straight to the gym after work I drove home, which spiraled into me climbing in bed at 5 in the afternoon for a "nap." Other people just call it "going to sleep for the night." I got depressed because I couldn't work out and hang out with my workout buddies (I'm looking at you Sherry lol) You know what made me feel better?!?!

  The Trap. Ridiculous, I know.

I didn't actually eat that heart attack in waiting, but if I found a place that served that sort of thing I probably would have. I ate. I ate a lot. I wasn't covered in gravy or anything but that would have been nice. This, my friends, was the above mentioned trap. I couldn't work out, which was a problem in itself. How did I compound that issue?? By eating. Yeah, at some point my twisted logic said, "You know what goes perfect with sitting on the couch? Sausage smoothies." I agreed.

I did juice vegetables every morning (B juiced, I drank)to drink on my way to work though. That, in my mind, balanced out the two brisket sandwiches that I ate for lunch. (just kidding...sort of) Hammie LOVED the vegetable juice. Usually about five minutes after I drank said concoction he would explode with movement. I imagined that he was doing a happy food dance. I think everyone in my family has their own happy food dance. I am sure you have a happy food dance also, you just may not even be aware of it. We like to be self aware.
If you're interested in doing a happy food dance from the veggie blood, here is the recipe:
1/2 green apple
4  celery stalks (include the leaves)
1 cucumber (leave the skin on)
2 carrots
1 handful of spinach

It was delicious. It's like drinking your salad without that awful salad dressing we all need. It was simple, it was delicious, and it made my baby do a happy dance.


abuela thornton said...

He was a sweet pea even in you belly and all felt the baby would be a boy. Everytime we went shopping for the baby we would purchase boy cloths.